Find the Transition in Change

by Lisa Boinnard in

Change is the single absolute in our impermanent reality. But when change comes, especially the shifts that alter our sense of identity and day-to-day life, it can feel final rather than a transition into something else. In fact, if we resist the change, we miss the transition entirely and wind up stuck in the deep end.

All change is challenging, whether positive or negative, because it alters our sense of identity – "Who I am" is changing. In the midst of change, there are moments where we cannot find ourselves, because that part of ourselves we are looking for is no longer the same. 

In times of great transitions, we are learning to see ourselves as never experienced before. Change gives us new experiences, and new ways of coming to know ourselves. It requires an "I don't know" mind, and the willingness to lean into fears and anxieties that arise. 

The gold in change is actually fear. Most change will deliver a healthy dose of fear, because the ego prefers stasis and generally dislikes the unknown. This is why our reactive response is usually resistance to change, even in the best of times. But if during change cycles, we welcome fear and simply sit with it, and learn to name the fear, we find the key to transitioning through the change. Naming the fear lets us release it and come into flow.

Developing presence in the wake of fear is the practice. Don't try to fix your fear. Ask yourself to sit with the fear, feel the emotions, and in time, more and more space will wrap itself around your fear. And within this space, clarity will often deliver itself. If the fear is truly a humdinger, then have someone else hold space for you. I have many people in my life who can do this, and their help has been the true grace that has helped me embrace change.