Tonight, at the end of my 5 Rhythms dance practice, a powerful moving meditation, I came to realize that I had surrendered, in dance, into a space of love and trust.
Surrender had always been a dirty word, because my victim usually lives in my act of surrendering. I surrender only at the end, when I’m exhausted, humiliated, hurting, frustrated, fried, bewildered, lost. The controlling ego within me snarls and cries out at the idea of surrendering, giving up, being a victim. It wants to fight, not give in. It wants to resist, with its amazing might. And so I hold out, until I can no longer.
But love, love asks us to surrender to the flow of the current, the movements of emotions, the push of the tides. Love wants me to lean in to unknown spaces, to lean forward, with my honeyed and abrasive emotions, lean in as if the gravity of love were at my back.
How much do you resist? When we resist being ‘weak’ and unbalanced, it actually makes us just more weak and unbalanced. We resist not knowing. We resist feeling, expressing, allowing whatever comes up to come up. Always editing, controlling, curating our experiences with strict rules that become increasingly sneaky, lurking in shadows the more we hunt for them. Tension and control masking as balance.
The fierceness of love says, just turn it into a dance. Create movement with it. Allow it to come into our experience, be willing to see what arises. Take the energy and let it be.
The rhythms of dance are teaching me to BE: present, honest, fluid. When we surrender in the dance of life, we are always moving. We can’t get stuck. So there’s nothing to fear. Everything will evolve, everything transforms and moves forward.
Let the act of dance be a metaphor for living.
Dance makes us surrender the mind, dive into the body, be led by the heart and the pulse of rhythms around us. It asks to trust our magnificent feet. How we walk the earth matters. Let the feet dance often. They know the language of our hearts and understand the cadence of the flow around us, much better than the mind can.
In the dance, we can surrender, knowing that the force and pulse of love is behind us, the threats of fear diminished.
This post is inspired by and written with deep gratitude for my 5 Rhythms instructor, Eugene Hedlund of Shedding Skins.